I just watched Don Jon. It’s been sitting in my list since I saw they added it to Netflix. I figured it would be a funny movie, at least that’s how it was advertised in the trailers.
It was not at all what I expected. I wouldn’t call it a drama, because it wasn’t totally series, and I wouldn’t call it a comedy because it didn’t exactly make me laugh. It just felt real to me. The way guys talk to each other in real life, is depicted well in this movie. Not all the time, but I’m used to being “one of the guys” and they really do talk about girls this way.
I’m sure most reviews will focus on Jon and his porn addiction. I agree his addiction affected his sex life and the way porn depicts sex is not at all what women really want. Porn sex and real life sex are nothing alike. I am a female and I watch porn, I’ll admit. Some of it, I like, and some I don’t. To be honest, some of what I’ve run across looks downright painful, often degrading, I would in no way be interested in doing anything of the sort, and I’m sure I’d have a hard time finding a real woman who would. Unfortunately, we can’t change the porn industry and we can’t change how men are going to interpret porn. My focus is about the female in the relationship and something I feel some of us may do all too much.
What I loved the most about this movie was how it depicted Scarlett Johansson’s character. Here you have a girl that is so “hot” by common standards that she can get this guy to do whatever she wants. She’s also a pretty smart girl, because she knows just how to manipulate him using her looks and sexuality. And I’m totally not condoning that because, it’s not real. Sure, she gets Jon to do whatever she wants, but it’s not who he really is. She is trying to change him. I feel this is important. It’s a trend I’ve noticed a lot growing up.
Young girls and adult women feel like they can change a man. We crave it. We want to be special and be the conduit of change. It’s the reason bad boys are oh so attractive to us. We want that bad boy to change his ways and become a better man all because we are special and different and he has fallen for us. It works great in the movies, A Walk To Remember, anyone? But it’s not real life. In real life, a bad boy is still a bad boy, and the good girl is the price that he gets to tell his friends he landed in his bed while no one else could.
Ok, ok so I’m going off on a rant. Scarlett’s character uses her beautiful assists and wiles to ‘persuade’ Jon to change for her. He doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. In a way, she’s treating him like a dog. Once he does what she asks, he gets his treat, and guess what? It doesn’t work out. Not because he cheats on her or anything like that. It doesn’t work out because he is who he is and she couldn’t manipulate him into changing.
Ladies, stop trying to change a man to become your perfect mate. First of all, perfect does not exist. Haven’t we learned this already? You need to be with someone for who he is, otherwise you won’t be truly happy. Just how we want men to accept and love us for who we are, we need to do the same.
Overall, it was a fast-paced movie. I didn’t get bored. I didn’t want to give away too much of what happens, I just want to focus on the message I took from it.
Let’s all stop trying to change each other. Fall in love with a real person, as John Legend says, all their curves and all their edges, all their perfect imperfections. That’s the only way to be truly happy in a relationship.